One year of pandemic: How it affected me and this project
A small story on how complicated was 2020 and all problems it is still causing.

It was one year ago...

The Brazilian news vehicles started to report the first case o COVID-19 in a 61-year-old man that came from Italy, specifically from the Lombardia region, where the coronavirus was causing enormous damage by taking lots of lives at that moment. The rest of the world was frightened to watch all that chaos. Meanwhile, here in Brazil, President Bolsonaro was trying to diminish all that was happening.

Weeks have passed since the first case and the number of contaminated people was growing. The authorities were running in circles trying to establish protocols to avoid the fast growth of cases, yet, Bolsonaro's kept with his negationist policy, trying to diminish the pandemic, calling it "little flu" in disrespect of the first dead people that literally have died drowned by the liquid produced due to the inflammation in their own lungs. Months later the number of cases of COVID-19 has grown exponentially, and Brazil was running to be one of the countries that had the major number of sick and dead people.

Seeing all that happening, caused me a lot of fear, confusion and increased my anxiety. The fear to lose my parents, brothers, grandparents, wife, or children only complicated things. I was sinking in anguish! Finally, a "half-lockdown" was implanted in a trial to smooth the growing curve of cases.

In the middle of all that problems, working on pgModeler was a way I found to forget about what was happening to the world around me. And that was what caused more damage to my health...


Some background facts...

Since I was a kid, I've faced lots of health problems, specifically those related to growth. Anxiety was also present in my pre-adolescence as well as today having 37 years old. As an introverted person who can't put out the anguish, rage, and any other bad feeling, I started to transfer everything to my body which, of course, had its consequences: in 15 years, even being an active person, I acquired 3 intervertebral disc protrusions in my cervical spine, 2 other disc protrusions in my lumbar spine, suffered a surgery on my right shoulder due to a tendon rupture and more recently, bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome. All that caused only by the stress suffered all those years.


... my body was warning me that I had to slow down a little, take more breaks, have more fun, forget about the work in the resting days. I just ignored it because I wanted to "hide".

Inevitably, the worse has happened: since September 2020, I was struggling with several painful episodes in my neck, left shoulder, and left arm. After visiting some doctors, using strong medicines, and lots of physiotherapy sessions the pain had gone for some weeks just to return stronger. In the last week, after performing another round of medical exams I discovered that one of the intervertebral disc protrusions in my cervical spine got worse in such a way that it was pinching my spinal cord. Never felt such horrible pain in my whole life! The doctor was emphatic: "You must make the surgery to replace that problematic disc, or things tend to get even worse!". That devastated me. It was time to really slow down... and so I did.

Will pgModeler be affected?

Unfortunately, yes! I really sorry but it's for good! Since I'm still working from home, pgModeler occupies a lot of my time. This way, I decided to deaccelerate, to really take care of my health so I can bring you even more news about this project that I love so much. So, I have the obligation to speak to every single person who follows this project for years that I'll not stop working on pgModeler, but I'll delay future releases.

I don't know when I'll make that surgery because the health system here in Brazil is completely collapsed without a prediction of when it'll get to normal. Due to the risk of contamination during the surgical procedure, my doctor says it's safer to wait. While we wait for the slow vaccination process to happen, I'll stay home, working at a slower pace, taking care of myself and my family. But trying to keep you informed as I always do in the project's social networks. Anyway, for the next weeks, I'll be updating the docs of 0.9.3 and trying to release some snapshot builds of 0.9.4-alpha until I get better.

I ask you for a little patience... everything will be better anytime soon, I hope!

Stay safe!

Comments (20) Add a comment

Rodolphe Quiédeville
February 26, 2021 at 06:23:36

First of all I want to say that for me you're right ! You took the best decision and I'm sure it was hard, lots of us should see take you for example. This is extremely courageous to publish that kind of blog, and in the same time this is an evidence, writing free software is not only an technical fact, it's a kind of social relation.
So Raphael, take care of you, take the time you need, and be sure you'll have more pgmodeler's user happy in a near future !
Thank you for pgModeler, and thank for sharing that.

Raphael Araújo e Silva
February 26, 2021 at 15:15:04

Thanks for your comment, Rodolphe. It means a lot! :)

Jf Martins
February 28, 2021 at 17:51:22

Thanks for your opinion and your work on pgModeler. 👍

Rodrigo Otsuka
March 1, 2021 at 14:10:56

You don't have to worry, Raphael.
You already helped a lot of people with all this effort and love put in this awesome project (to me, it's one of few things I am proud from Brazil). Take your time with your family, take your time to recovery your health.
All I need to say to you is: Thank you very much for the support and I hope you have a great recovery!
(Sorry if I had commited any english mistakes)

Raphael Araújo e Silva
March 1, 2021 at 15:51:45

Thank you very much, Rodrigo. It makes me really happy to see all this support to my decision. It's just a matter of time so I can get back to my normal work on this project! Until there I will take care.

P.S.: your English is perfect! :)

Trần Quang Hiệp
March 3, 2021 at 06:09:49

https://github.com/readme/benjie-gillam
I suggest you to create a page like this, then create a sponsor page like this https://github.com/sponsors/benjie
That help people understand what you are doing, what is your problem, how you strugger it, and then maybe they can help you (by donating). I'm sponsoring for that project. I'm willing to sponsor for your project too every month. People can spend some dollar on Patreon, Spotify or even Pornhub (lol) so I think If they understand your situation better. They can help you to earn some money to go to hospital to cure that.
About processing, yeah. I think you in this industry long enough to understand that software development is always missing deadline industry. You are the only boss right now, so let your self a little rest. Slow it down, trust me. I'm just nobody but there was a history lesson that two king fighting, and the one who win the long fight after decade is not the stronger king or smarter king, it is the heathier king.

Trần Quang Hiệp
March 3, 2021 at 06:23:41

"the most expensive bed is hospital bed" my brother said. I have to quit the startup project that I'm cofounder. Leaving the chance to be rich, be cause I have serious pain. It come like you cannot breath, wake with 10/10 pain every morning, and happen everytime that can make any man can cry. I just 26 years old and just get marry.
but that 6 month agos. I belive if you can go slower, you will go more far with this project.

I'm happy to share my method if you interesting. I just basicly stop coding, (reduce 80% time of sitting) code lesser, make money lesser but gain more heath.
First you need excircise practice, then using natural medicine, then using yoga and qigong ( system of breathing control - which allow us to control blood to self-healing)
I hope you understand, save yourself before too late. make github sonpsor that allow me and other people can donate you.

Raphael Araújo e Silva
March 4, 2021 at 11:22:29

I feel your pain, really. Your story is almost the same as mine. All my spine problems have started one month after I got married, ten years ago. Since then, I'm trying to keep health in the first place but with the pandemic things got complicated. But I already started my recovering process, with exercises, physiotherapy, medicines, good sleep and passing more time with my family.

I hope you get well soon, and can recover the ability to perform your work. Enjoy your marriage, and take care of yourself. Be strong!

Thank you very much for your advices.
Stay safe!

Trần Quang Hiệp
March 4, 2021 at 21:41:14

Thank you so much, I believe you will get recovery soon and have a happy life and heathy.
Best wish to you, be safe!

Aimen
March 4, 2021 at 06:53:59

Thank you for this very nice tool, and take care of your self and your family.

Have a nice day (from France) :)

Raphael Araújo e Silva
March 4, 2021 at 11:12:26

Thank you, Amen! :)

I'll take care. Stay safe and have a nice week! ;)

F. Sualp
March 4, 2021 at 20:12:49

Hello Raphael.
My eyes were tearing while reading your post. The pandemic conditions in the country you live in and the painful situation you are in obviously affect your business deeply. I hope you and your family will overcome this medical crisis as soon as possible and at the same time your country will survive the pandemic. Unfortunately, I cannot do anything but wish you patience, fortitude, and healing. Very sad!
From Turkey with love ...

Marc Cousin
March 8, 2021 at 05:51:38

Hey Raphael,

What a sad story. Get better, nothing's more important. Thanks for all the hard work you have already put into pgModeler. Take your time.

Raphael Araújo e Silva
March 8, 2021 at 10:04:07

Thank you very much for the support, Marc!

Rafe
March 8, 2021 at 08:03:43

Hello Raphael.

Take your time. what will be, will be. There are some things we can't change. The sooner we accept this, the easier and less stressful it is to deal with these situations, and the quicker we get over them. Share the work out if you can. I am sure there are others who would like to help you. this will take weight off your shoulders and keep the tool moving forward. Take Care, Rafe, UK.

Raphael Araújo e Silva
March 8, 2021 at 10:02:50

Hi Rafe!

Yeah, I've already accepted all this. Now, I am taking care of myself and my family.

Fortunately, some people sometimes help me with patches and some new features on pgmodeler. This is the wonderfulness of running an opensource project! :)

Thank you very much!

Manmohan Bishnoi
March 9, 2021 at 08:47:37

Hi Raphael,

I read your post and am truly shocked by the news about your health. I can understand what you are going through and wish you good health.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Steve Foreman
March 22, 2021 at 17:02:15

Raphael - you have done great work and it has helped a lot of people with much better solutions. Please take the time necessary to regain your health. We will still be using your great product while we wait patiently for updates and new features as you are able.

Steve Pousty
April 13, 2021 at 02:38:38

Take care of you and your family - that is the most important piece.

Raphael Araújo e Silva
April 13, 2021 at 12:40:16

Thank you, Steve! I doing my best to keep my health in a good condition and my family well! :)

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